Whoops

So I never never write on here. I started a web site not that long ago for a podcast and had been blogging there. This is more of something personal so I thought that I'd write it here. I guess I never really feel better until I write out my feelings somewhere. I can express them to Cody all I want but he's a dude. He doesn't really care lol I don't blame him though. It's all about girls and how catty they are. I think today I am done with most my childhood friends. This doesn't include you Megan, Angie and Stacee. I don't think the rest of them are even smart enough to find my blogspot let alone know what it is.

I am sick of being used by them. Maybe I should name names but I won't. You can live your pathetic lives and I'll be okay with it. I am seriously about ready to just delete you out of my life. I haven't quite decided that yet. You guys are dumb and immature and deserve all the shit that has happened to you and all of the shit that comes your way. The only reason why you even have a full time job is because of ME! You know it and the fucking thanks I get is nothing. When I showed you how to use crap on the internet I don't even think you said thanks once. I don't need a gift or a dinner or anything as a gift. But a fucking thank you!!! Come on. Don't you think that's common courtesy. You still don't take advice when you clearly need it. So I don't care. Go ruin your life. Like I said before, you deserve it. So I am done with you. You've changed for the worse.

And as for the other friend. Shame on you for taking advantage of a person who you KNOW is very susceptible to peer pressure. You're going to ruin her and you know it. Don't drag other people down with you. You're freaking 26 turning 27 this year and you don't have your life in order so you have to leech off of other people. That's why your family doesn't like you. Because they see your bullshit and call you out on it. So you get pissed off and leech from one person to another. That's also why you have never had a meaningful relationship in your life. Cause you're an idiot and people can spot it a mile away. You move from boyfriend to boyfriend and they keep getting younger in age because the older ones aren't as dumb.

Like I said, I'm done with you both. Have a nice life together. You deserve each other.

Lost...

Sometimes I feel so lost. I always have a game plan for ever situation. I am currently in a situation where I don't know what to do. I care so much about this person but I really don't feel like I can help them. She is turning into somebody else. She is somebody else already. I don't know what to do. I don't want to shut them out of my life. I know it's horrible but I've thought about it but I can't help it. I don't like the person that she is becoming. She means so much to me. We had different dreams growing up. Now I don't know what has become of her. I feel like she is doing this all for a stupid guy. And her fucking marriage talk. I "feel" it's right. Fucking morman shit. I hate him. I hate him for what he has done to her. She's already made up her mind about what she wants. Why the hell should I help her now? Oh Diana it's real because of this testimony and that testimony. I know it's right because I believe in it. I believe I can fly. Doesn't mean that I am right. I don't know about the rest of my family but I feel like it will tear me away from her. I can see it happening but she's blinded too much by this that she doesn't see it happening. I just don't know what to do. Today is day number 3 of crying all day. I have never cried this much in my life.

Maybe you were born that way

I know you guys love a good ranting blog, well if you don't, then you shouldn't really read this. It's official. My best friends are stupid. Just stupid. I think that within the 25 years that I have been alive, that I learn and grow throughout life and my experiences. I will just tell you guys, that my friends do not. I have tried and tried to look past it but I can no further. I have some friends who have grown into adults (Angie) and the rest have not. It's sad when my 18 year old brother is more mature than you. It's really sad. I just feel so frustrated over the whole thing. I am so done with the matter that I just may separate myself and be done with it all. Once I reach a certain point and am finished with something, I am able to just turn my feelings off and be done with it. I won't contact you for a while because I am just so frustrated with you. You're immature, idiotic, materialistic and just plain stupid. You care about things that people should care about in junior high school. What is wrong with you? You frustrate the hell out of me because you're so retarded. You are turning 26 this year and you still live with your mom and about to move in with your sister because you can't find or hold down a job. I tried to help you. Even gave you a place to live back in the day but you were the worst roommate back then that I didn't want you to move in with me now and just leech off me again. I am just done. I don't care if your last 2 birthdays have been shit. You deserved it, that's why. I tried to make and plan a good birthday for you. I wanted to try and plan a trip to Vegas for you but good thing that nobody likes you and wants to come with us. The only other person who could go was Heather but she's broke. I didn't want to fork over the money for all of us to go to Vegas. Good thing I didn't book a hotel room like I almost did because then I would have been screwed. You piss me off all the time. You know all the bad shit that has and is happening to you, well that's self perpetuated moron. You lost your jobs because you're lazy. You live with your mom because you have no job. You have nowhere else to go because you use people. This is why I get along better with guys. Guys don't carry bullshit like my friends. I just wish you would grow a brain. I don't want to be friends with idiots.

Death of a podcast

Well here is my monthly blog. I really need to start blogging more often. You just would just hear me bitching though. I don't know if you guys really want to hear that maybe you guys do.

Well as you guys can tell that my old podcast is dead. D-E-A-D!!! It's ok though. It was a good podcast. Funny, witty and entertaining. The problem was that there were hundreds of geek podcasts just like us. We never even hit over a hundred for our podcast. Well my cohosts and I decided to try a different type of podcast. We decided on podcasting about 80's cartoons. This podcast has been going great. The name is simple, 80's Cartoon Podcast. This podcast is going so much better than my last. We only have 5 episodes out but we about 4,000 listeners. So much better than my other. We like watching cartoons and we like podcasting.

I hope you guys enjoy.

Just ranting

I know this is cliché to do but I am going to do this. Again, nobody reads this blog. I just need an emotional outlet for this. Right now I am just so sick of some my friends. Most of my friends and family act their age and can take care of themselves, I don’t know why others can't.. I just wish my friends would grow up. I want them to succeed in live but they won’t do anything about it.

They are immature. They need to take care of themselves but they can't. They go out and they try to find a guy to take care of them. It just pisses me off to see that they are dependent and will work for nothing to try and get everything.

Don't take any other people down with you. Just because they're good and nice doesn't mean that you should take advantage of them. It just pisses me off so bad. You're a horrible person. Your mom takes care of you. She even knows that you have no drive in life. You're my friend but you're still a horrible horrible person. I wish you could be a better person. So much more would happen to you. I would like you a lot more and hang out with you more. I just know that will never happen.

Summertime

Summertime. A time where friends make memories. I am so excited for summer. I love everything about it. I am a little bummed though because here in Utah, we don't have a beach. I just want to shred some waves. I can't wait for camping, hiking, tubing and swimming all this summer.

I am also working to get back my bikini body. Almost there. I don't care about talking about this on blogspot because nobody reads this anyways. Ha ha. Well good luck to me. I'll keep you posted.

My First Angry Post...sort of

I was pretty angry and was going to post a big blog about it...but Heather made me feel tons better about the situation. I was only going to say that, but I guess I'll give you more details. It was about just a dip shit friend. They don't keep up with me anyways. They won't even read this. I am ok now that I don't need a huge blog about it.

Thanks Heather. ^_^